Irritated, Agitated, Frustrated...
Saturday, April 16, 2005 at 12:59 AM

I woke up early today, at about 7+am. Although I didn't feel tired, I went back to sleep. Just didn't want to go for a jog =p *sigh* I'm just plain lazy..... Really lack determination and will =( Or maybe I should just forget about a jog and get Beng Choon to have a game of badminton with me every weekend. At least that sounds more appealing =D

Anyway, got band 3 for PW... Which means I got to work super duper doubly (or even triply) hard for other A-level subjects. Especially since my CCA grade can only give me 1 or 2 bonus points. I wonder if the translation competition gives me 1 participation point. If it does, good. If it doesn't... Well, I think I'll most probably be stuck with an E grade =( I want to get 4 full points for Service. Currently have 30 hours if I'm not wrong. After I complete the JE Library CIP, I'll be left with 5 more hours to 80. And I don't know where to get those 5 hours...

Anyway, back to slogging for A-level. I think I've got another driving motivation to get good results. I can't stand this particular someone who always seem to look down on others when all he's got are just slightly better grades once in a blue moon. And more often than not, his results fluctuate and do not sustain at that level. SO what's so great about that? Sometimes I really feel consumed by anger when I see his behaviour. It's downright insensitive, arrogant and it all seems like he's doing in deliberately. I know this is not a nice thing to say, but I despise this kind of people. If he's capable and can sustain his achievements, fine. But not when he's got nothing solid and still flaunt. And he should know better than to congratulate his PW group members who got band 3 when he got band 2 and make them feel worse. He seemed like he's doing it purposely. He didn't even put in as much work as others, from what I heard. Really can't stand it. And it doesn't only happen once. This is already the nth time. I'm glad none of my group members are like that. Sometimes I was on the edge of bursting out at him. Sometimes I just feel like telling him off. Sometimes I'm really amazed at my tolerance. Sometimes I would really love to have the tables turned and pay him back for what he's done to us by doing exactly what he did. Sure, I'm all the more fired up to get good grades. And when I do, I may just well 'repay' him for all that motivation. If he irritates me again, or my friends. Yea, I know it doesn't reflect well on me as well, but some day my tolerance will just break apart and arrows will shoot out mercilessly. Just beware, those who incurred my wrath. I can be nice but don't force me to be nasty. Hah, I'm becoming more like Kah Peck, judging from the tone of this entry =p But still not as powerful as her. Anyway, I'll try to be nice and tolerant, as I've always have been. Afterall, anger and hatred are ugly and sinful. I don't like to harbour such emotions but I have to admit I'm still human. Of course I'll pray that God will keep the devil afar so that I won't be invaded with such emotions. Not many people can make me angry, and if someone manages to, congratulations to him for striking the lottery.

rhapsody in blue.