tests, tests and more tests
Thursday, May 12, 2005 at 6:23 PM

Maths test finally over... I really don't know what kind of grades I would get but since I've only passed once so far, I know where to set my expectations... Physics was disappointing. Mr Tan said he didn't even had to mark our scripts. Just put a few ticks here and there and he can total up the marks. He only need to mark MCQs coz' most of us left a lot of blanks for structured questions which take up 35 out of 45 marks. I'm quite disappointed when he said that. I put in time and effort weeks before the test, though I didn't revise much this week. In fact, I put most of my time into Physics recently. Maybe I just shouldn't expect too much? Even Mr Tan can't comment on my test script. Either I did badly or he didn't pay careful attention to my script. Anyway he hasn't really started marking, I think. Whichever it is, I'm disappointed with myself. I know I'm not very good at Physics though some people may think otherwise. But honestly, I really think I'm weak in Physics, just that I'm not as weak as in Maths. Perhaps this is due to the 'traumatising' experience in RV. Some of my friends refuse to believe that I actually didn't pass a single Physics test/exam until prelim. And my highest grade before that was a D7. Usually I got F9, or if I was lucky, I got E8. Bad... And Mrs Lee commented that I'm extremely weak in Physics. I admit that. In fact I'm weak in Maths and Sciences. Just somehow manage to stay at the average level, if I passed, for my JC years. I really don't know if I can get ABBB4 for A-levels. Now that goal seems even farther than ever. I mentioned I would slip into depression easily didn't I... Really not in the mood to study even though there's a HCL 2 test tomorrow. All of a sudden I just felt desolate and empty. Maybe I think too much... Maybe.... I don't know.... Right now, I'm going to try to spring myself back to normal mode. I hate this kind of circumstances which affects my life. I can't focus, can't study, can't do anything without a light heart. This sucks. Life isn't meant to be torturous (though it may seem to be at times). I want to strongly believe that life is meant to be beautiful and fruitful (if you have the right mindset). So... I'm going to punch myself back into reality and get some sense into my empty head. Let's hope tomorrow (and the days after) will be a better day. And to my friends who are also discouraged by the tests: Don't give up just yet!! As Mr Tan said, perserverence is the key. And perserverence means 6 months until A-levels. Perservere and we'll succeed!!

rhapsody in blue.