Friday, July 15, 2005 at 10:30 PM

I've been quite guai this week, steering clear of the computer for 5 days =) Great, let me keep this up coz' I simply waste too much time on computer. I''m going to use the computer for no more than 2 hours during weekends only, from now on. No more TV, except for Project Superstar. Exam candidates do need to rest too ^_^ I don't want to get caught in another drama serial and keep watching it night after night. No more addictive shows. Luckily Project Superstar will end soon. And I probably won't even watch it if all the good contestants get eliminated (which has been happening almost every week). I'm still trying to devise a revision schedule but I just can't squeeze everything in =( And Lin laoshi had to inform us of the probability of our HCL papers coming before September holidays! Somebody just throw me off my 24th-floor flat.... Sometimes I can't help but feel like dying coz' of the coming exams. Have been more moody recently... Anyway, a sneak peek at my mid-year results: COFC6. Worst results I've ever gotten in NY. The worst I got was F for Maths but I passed all others. I know I would flunk Physics this time... And I think I deserve this O grade, coz' I'm 4.5 marks (1.5%) away from E. This should serve as a severe reminder that I didn't study enough. And that I'm weak. I've never denied my weak foundation in Physics. And truthfully, I didn't pass GP. I got 44.5% and I only passed after rounding up the score. Pathetic. In fact, if you ask me, I believe I'm not good at all 4 subjects. Ok some people don't believe me, coz' I've passed almost every Physics and GP tests/exams so far. Let me now clear the air of illusion. You all have seen for yourselves. I'm really not as good as you imagined.

Just when I get a teeny bit of confidence for Physics since I had passed every test (except mid-year) in JC, it has to be crushed. I'm beginning to feel more and more inferior, and I feel really depressed and hopeless at times when I see CK. Well, proud of him that he's an A student, but really it just reflects my inadequacy when I stand beside him. Happy for this er ge.. I'm not comparing, but he draws out the feeling of weakness in me without his own knowledge. No I don't blame him... It's all my fault for giving my time up to unnecessary things, as if I had all the time in the world. I really wish Earth was in Mars' orbit, so that we would have more than 24 hours a day.. NASA, step up on your Mars research... Maybe I'll just consider migrating to Mars one day... Haha...

I don't know how to study for Physics. How to get a B? Ok, maybe it's more realistic for me to aim for a pass instead of B... But I do believe in aiming high. Yeah I remember the laminated paper banner in RV that says "Aim for the moon so that if you miss, you'll land among the stars". Old-fashioned but true. It's not like I'm very confident for my prelims but I believe that I am capable of getting at least a C if I put in real hard work. But I don't know how I should study. I have never passed papers 2 & 3 for Physics, and the marks are really pathetic. That's why I said I actually don't know much about Physics. It's not carelessness. I really don't know how to do most of the questions. So sometimes I can't help but feel that I belong to the E or D calibre... But I must get rid of this kind of thinking... I don't know how to go about revising for my prelims but there is one thing I'm certain I can do. Believe in my Lord God.

rhapsody in blue.