Somehow empty and......
Saturday, April 14, 2007 at 2:39 PM

I wonder why this feeling is kinda strong. Upon learning that a tutor/lecturer of mine would not be teaching us from next semester onwards, somehow I just feel sort of...... empty? Perhaps this is not the exact word to describe... But if the lecturer's not her, I really don't know.. Don't know how I can continue with the modules. That just very well explains that I'm still immatured, huh...

It's not that without this teacher that I like very much, I would not continue with this subject. I will, but the will and determination to follow through is weaker now. One reason I love this subject so much, other than really having the passion and interest, is the tutors, especially this one. In my mind, when I think of advancing to the next module in this course, I naturally think of the teacher, and that really makes me very much look forward to the more difficult modules. In fact, there are 2 reasons why I enforce the action of taking the next module in this course every semester, even when it means I have to be in some different courses as my major's friends. The wish to take the same courses as them is very strong, coz' having companions is a good thing. Plus my social circle's kinda small in comparison, and I'm definitely not the kind who can make friends easily though I don't deny that I'm friendly (I am, but I'm just not THAT kind of person, if you know what I mean). Ok I digressed a little. The 2 reasons. 1) Once I rest and break contact with that course for a semester, it'll be quite hard to pick up the momentum again in the following semester. 2) The teacher is the lecturer and she will follow our batch through (if we take it continually every semester).

I feel that she's a very good teacher who are really good at teaching and explaining, and she can really make her classes very interesting and enjoyable. At least for me. I really look up to her and feel very hopeful whenever I think of having such a good teacher as my lecturer/tutor.

But when hopes are dashed and dreams destroyed, what is left of it?

Still, everyone has his/her own journey to take. Besides, 天下无不散之筵席. Since she has decided to embark on another journey, we as her students, should feel glad and wish her all the best, isn't it. Afterall, to be able to find the journey that you belong to is not an easy thing. To follow through is even harder. This is all coming from someone who has yet to find her goals in life.


But yes, the emptiness and sadness..... ちょっと寂しいな。。。

rhapsody in blue.