squeeeeeeeeeze
Monday, November 12, 2007 at 10:59 PM

Thanks so much, dear. For the undescribably nice big hugs with your small small arms. Not once, but twice. For the 1st time, I realised and felt, that it is not me who is hugging you, but YOU who are the one hugging me. The surprising reversal of roles. Thanks for the nice squeezy hugs that you gave me upon request. Thanks for the innocent loving kisses that you planted on your beloved yi-yi's face. Thanks for making me feel the love and the warmth. Something that I perhaps yearn so much for, and yet am apprehensive towards. Maybe it's just that I need someone to make me face up to myself, face up to what I have to, however scared and fearful I am. Ironically, your small arms delivered boundless amounts of love and understanding. Though you are barely two and know nothing. But I felt it. For that moment, I really wanted to...... But, if my tear glands are the last thing that I have control over, please, at least let me retain that control. At least, in others' presence.

And thanks dearie, for the light innocent touch on my plastered ankle and saying "pain pain". Coz' the mere 2 words that you uttered out of love made me smile a little. Something that I simply cannot bring myself to do these few days.

Been feeling colder than usual somehow recently. But at least, today you taught me the warmth of a person's hug. Your yi-yi loves you, Aften.

rhapsody in blue.